Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
