How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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