This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
