I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
