If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
