so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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