I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
