yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize