My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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