I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
