Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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