so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
