you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
