ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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