I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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