Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
