So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
