Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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