also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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