So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize