some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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