Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
