Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize