She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
