is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
