I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
