What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
