Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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