dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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