I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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