There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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