God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
