sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This girl is more easily done than said...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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