Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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