My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
There's even glitter on my cock...
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