I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
