There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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