What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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