I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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