I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
