my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
