i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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