A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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