Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
