Already got asked if we're dating
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize