yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
