home. puking in laundry basket.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
