if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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