there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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