Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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