We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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