Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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