is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
