i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
