Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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