The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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