I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
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more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize