We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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