I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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