It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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