batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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