he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His hands were made for my vagina.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
