from now on my penis is your penis
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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